Irrationally mad decision making to obtain the American Dream.

I call this “motivation for people under 30”, my email response back to a young friend struggling with jobloss and finance problems.

This was after receiving an email with, “waah wah waonk wa waonk wank crap – i’m going to lose my job I hate my employers, they are taking my high pay away, i can’t afford rent, i can’t make band practice, i’m scared, i won’t be able to survice and pay cheapass rent, wah wah wah, i’m nuts, my life is over, i don’t get all my shifts to make shit money (well i say shit money for NYC) – cry me a river justin timberlake.”

(friend). don’t take this personally. but i’m the messenger. and here’s the truth.

truly stop bitching. start praising your current employers for getting rid of you so you can get with a better company even if its not in tours. focus on the band. make that happen for yourself and your bandmates. for once try to use your degree to have normal working hours. you aren’t in a bad position at all and if you hate your employers its a plus to move on, find employers you do like that give you respect in return for being so loyal, and grow up some and not take their shit. sometimes what you don’t want is what you need. if you can’t afford rent just move out and move in with me for the time being. my landlord doesn’t care and i can make space for a bed so rent is off your back which would be a short-term solution. you could live here for as long as you want. wait until you have to come up with paying around $3600 month in real bills. no offense, but just rent and a credit card bill shouldn’t scare you and if they do i can put real fear into your life. losing a job does increase the stress but in your shoes take this as some new reborn freedom to enjoy sleeping in more, collect unemployment, budget, and again work on waiting for a better job that improves you not destroys and upsets you. shit one day you’ll be a badass like me and have to deal with things like court, going to jail with butt rapist, losing $100,000 in a year and over $200k in 5 years on poorly made investment choices, and your job turning you into a fat loser because of age and so much fried foods they force feed you to turn you into a worker zombie.

take my advice. fucking breathe. stop the bitching and start living.
if you want to crash at my place give your landlord notice (if you don’t have a lease) in which if you do then get a roommate to live in your room with you. european crazy cheap chicks go for that shit. might be the best thing in your life. you might actually get laid. make babies. then you have real problems on your hands, well not problems, but much bigger obstacles to find money to provide for. actually scatch the female cheap roommate. find a guy who’s a cheapass like me. i’d do it. fuck i had to sleep in a mini steel room with 16 bunks of dirty, horny, dudes that farted 24-7 and jerked off with tissues and socks. hahaha. yea that was gross. but its was for real and i’m glad its over.

smooth sailing to ya! my doors are open and you can eat my glamorous leftovers because my antisocial roommates won’t or don’t even try to eat my food that remains in bulk. bastards. now i have to eat the shit for an entire week. you know what its like eating split pea soup for an entire week? your shit turns green and you get bored of it. thats about it.

-p

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