Irrationally mad decision making to obtain the American Dream.

scatter brained to the max, anxiety LOTS, work done? NONE

Well I’m still stuck in San Francisco dry dock with my ship getting worked on.  I thought taking a load of four college classes was a great idea at the time before I left to keep me busy.  Well……..the classes have kept me busy, too busy.  I’m retaking Principles of Accounting and falling miserably behind.  I have such a tremendous time focusing on studying and understanding what I’m reading.  I’d say the bigger problem is all these fantasies running around in my head about starting up a new business and buying a 3rd investment property in Louisville, KY where I plan to move to in August 09′.

I am physically and mentally becoming drained from coming up with multiple scenarios and my thought process in my head runs like this 24/7 nonstop EVEN IN MY SLEEP I’m coming up with scenarios, themes, ex:

“of what I’m going to do, where I’m going to work, where I’m going to live, if I’m going to have time to date, will my friend and I actually play in a band together, will we drive each other nutts, am I going to struggle financially, will I get paid well enough through working a side job, should I join the reserves there, will a business work, where should I locate my business, what type of business should I have, what am I good at, what do I consistently suck at, why can’t I just focus on one thing at a time, am I going to lose weight and feel better, should I take depression pills, what do I have to do to get approved for a bank loan towards my business, will my GPA be so low I won’t be accepted into an MBA program when I’m done with accounting, should I just go to community college, should I just take fun hands on classes, should I buy a foreclosed home, what side of the city is better, is this account a credit or debit, should I give up on my classes, do my teachers even know I’m not even trying, should I listen to music while studying or should I not, wear ear plugs, will have all this work done before the Giants game, will I pass these tests, I feel tired, should I just go to bed, will I have enough time tomorrow to finish my homework, man I love to sing and play guitar, will I be successful in Louisville, will it all happen there finally?”

I wonder why I’m exhausted all the time.  It’s just that life is short, sure you have lots of time, but it just goes so quickly!

Recently on my “to do list” is:

Start a self help site on changing careers because I’m doing just that and it can be pretty complicated and tiring if you don’t know what you are going to do with your life.

Completing my 4 classes successful and not failing them.  I had a 3.4 GPA.  That shit is going down, sadly.  Now I just want to pass these mother fuckers and be out.  Just focus on my upcomming masters classes in psychology and my future classes in carpentry, plumbing, electrical, and culinary arts.  If I am going to Louisville I suppose my plan for an MBA is off so I might as well stop taking preporatory classes for it.

whoah, do you ever have this problem?  -p

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2 responses

  1. Why are you moving to Kentucky?! That’s the first I remember reading about it on your blog.

    May 3, 2009 at 9:30 am

    • I’m leaving the military in 6 months and need to stay fresh and get back to who I am. A friend is moving there so I figured why not try it out too. Seems like a young hip place. I can always leave. I plan to go to college there for a trade and trade stock options as a business for the first time (keep practicing and know i’m confident before i make any trades). I haven’t been blogging much so I think this is the first time I’ve mentioned it.

      thanks for being curious.

      May 4, 2009 at 2:30 am

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