Irrationally mad decision making to obtain the American Dream.

Personal life in the Paul Zone

First I want to start off saying while going surfing yesterday at Sand Island Park where there were absolutely no waves I saw a man stuck with his car in the middle of the road.  He was trying to push it by himself and it was like a lincoln, a heavy one at that.  I immediately stopped my car and got out to help him and got it moving with my arm muscle to put less stress on the man.  I know what its like to have your car not work and you need help getting out of the way besides the help of the problem you don’t know about.  Also now the costs running in your head to fix it.  He was very grateful he was probably in his 50’s and only 15 feet away a group of people just watched him in pure humiliation.  I didn’t feel bad for him, but it felt like instinct to just jump out and run to his car to push it as if I was saving someone from the water.  I didn’t feel good about it like some natural high.  It just felt like I was born to help this man at that certain point in time. 

My roommate sat next to me and probably was a bit curious when I leaped out of my car to run up and push his car into the parking lot.  I really don’t know what she really thinks of me.  I know shes a bit stuck-up, but I could be very wrong about her.  Sometimes I wonder if its just in my head.  I’m never really mad at her.  It’s too hard.  I feel she means well and isn’t excessively pushy.  She is always laughing and having a good time and she laughs at almost everything I do.  Could she be seriously faking it because if she isn’t she will definitely miss me when I leave for 2-3 months on patrol again into the pacific oceans.  I think I’m going to miss the hanging out too.  We laugh so much and talk about the dumbest stuff.  I haven’t been able to have a long conversation with someone like her for a really long time.  I’m more like, “Hello.  Uh huh.  Yea. Cool”.   I don’t talk much.  I’d rather listen.  Most people think I’m sad, mad, frustrated, or all three all the time because I’m so very still and quiet.  Don’t worry though I am okay.  I’m just at peace thinking and dreaming off about something or laughing in my head at some funny scenario I just thought of that’s probably pretty dry humor.  I really wish she was never my roommate though the people shes knows makes me not too impressive because I don’t come from a family of money, business, bran new cars, or going out to fancy dinners.  I think its good we are just roommates.  I just really wanted to take her out to the most expensive place and dress up really nice and have a really great time and go dancing together.  I think I could still pull it off, but since were roommates I hear myself telling me not to show off and not to care as much.  To lay off and keep the big empty space there.  It’s the only way to keep things real between us. 

My other roommates are pretty cool.  I have to say everyone is an actual binge drinking alcoholic except for me.  In no way have I ever drank more just to get over someone, ask out a women, or just go overboard.  I’m not saying I’ve never thrown up after drinking because that I have, but its rare that I will just over drink and be a hardcore drinker.  I just like my buzz.  I’m not really the crowd pleaser with these people so I’d rather just relax and probably just take a zonked out nap.  Later to get up and goto the club to have another couple of drinks.  I can’t stand drunks.  I think they are low lifes and only get drunk because its the only thing they can do well (which shouldn’t be hard).  I hope you don’t feel busted on if you are a person that partys overly hard, but for real think about what you are doing.  It really doesn’t make him/her any better looking and it isn’t going to make you feel better tomorrow.  Enjoy yourself but don’t kill your body.

The majority of the people that actually get to spend time with me know how understanding and thoughtful I am.  I’m a very calm person with a big dead volcano inside me.  It takes a lot to errupt.  I judge quickly.  So if within the couple of times we hangout you don’t impress me with something you want to do with your life or something you currently do we probably won’t hangout much.   I consider myself quite adorable to women just not want they want right now.  I guess that says I’m boring in some department or that there is something very unlikeable.  I consider myself badass.  I don’t know anyone cooler then me, hotter then me, smarter then me, bigger goals then me, and as much real personal success as me.  This brings me to the conclusion that I must be a strange guy.  I mean I am pretty strange.  I’m quite unpredictable yet I’m pretty set in my ways of what I want and how I am going to get it.  Some people would call me a psychopath.  I just call myself normal.  Aren’t the Ninja Turtles normal?  They eat pizza!

I miss being a teenager.  Those were some depressing yet fun years with my music friends.  We were are own like Jackass gang and post-Nirvana side bands.  No responsibility and you were free like a fish in a big ocean with nothing really to stop you but a bigger fish with more fish years.

Well thats about it for personal blogging.  If you read to much about me you just might have to puke up anything you just ate or drank.  Cheers, – P

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